My Place

A place for creativity.aaaaaaaaaaaaA place for self-expression.

A place for brutally honest writing.

01 August 2010


that's life
i guess
she blinked
and everything
was different

the people who
once knew her
inside and out
now look at her,
surprised by who
she became

the hand which
once wrapped
around hers
so perfectly
is now confining

the laughs which
once came so
easily now
are hollow and

that’s life
i guess
but she doesn’t understand

now she’s never
going to blink

24 February 2010

The truth

i once asked you
what happened to lost things
when they go missing
disappear into the chaotic world
never to be seen again

you told me
they went on an adventure
to find their true place in the world

i once asked you
where the rain came from
when it spewed from the sky
out of nowhere
only to stop as suddenly as it started

you told me
it was the tears of all the deceased
crying for the loved ones who remained behind

i once asked you
what made people laugh
why happiness manifests itself
as an uncontrollable guffaw

you told me
laughter is a device used by humans
to prove that the world is not as horrific
as it was intended to be

i once asked you
why people kill each other
strip people of the one thing
that should never be taken

you told me
the murderers were terrified of death
by killing people they thought
they had control over when it came and who it took

i once asked you
why i was allowed to have the whole world
when so many people
aren’t even given food or water
no blanket to hide their shivers

you told me
i was lucky
i was born in a place where anything is possible

i once asked you
why you always made up lies
in answer to all my questions
when all i wanted was the truth

you told me
you were only trying to protect me
from the reality

i never trusted you again

Wednesday's WISH

A Wish for Wednesday? Of course!

 I wish people would simply stop and think more often.

23 February 2010

Untitled (again)

This poem is a little different than most things I've posted. Bear with me here.

the only light in the room is
the rays from the street lamp
that find their way through the gaps in
the shutters

a single chime from a grandfather clock
echoes as a small child lays awake
with his eyes clenched tight while
images of demons dance in front of him

in the sudden silence
the soft pulsating of his blood startles him
he opens his eyes to find the source of the
noise and fear grasps at him
as he absorbs the looming darkness
knowing that monsters thrive in
the absence of light

he grabs around him
searching for his snowy tiger amidst
the sea of blankets
he finally feels the tiger and tucks it under his arm
covering its glass eyes
as he pulls himself into the fetal position that
fails to calm him

he rolls onto his stomach
squishes his nose in his pillow and
holds so tightly to his tiger that he
begins to shake as he
takes in the musty scent until he can
no longer breathe

he turns flat on his back and
realizing the lit up universe upon his ceiling
he spreads his arms and legs as wide as
is possible and calls himself an

the tiger thumps to the floor as the boy
lifts his chin to the sky and closes his eyes
breathing deeply as he dares
all the monsters in the world
to take him

whilst he is under the watchful eye of
his very own heaven

a Thought for Tuesday

Hello all! Tuesday means--Thinkin' day! So the "thought" for today is Childhood Innocence... Where does it go???

21 February 2010

You vs. Now

You don't look like yourself anymore
Where is that person I used to know?

the person who laughed
like the earth would if it could

the person whose eyes
held all the colors of the rainbow
and sparkled like the pot of gold waiting at the end of it

the person who spoke 
of happiness like it was always present

your laugh is 
dry, hollow and empty

your eyes are
dark and red

you speak of happiness like it's
always at one's fingertips
but never present

Who are you?
Where is the person I've always loved?

A Movie Suggestion on Sunday

This Sunday's Surprise is a movie suggestion.  I just finished watching The Notebook, and for anyone who has never seen it, it's a must see!

Knowing Me

all my life
ive seen darkness
black horror
hiding the truth
there is nothing more
i want
than the truth

i want to see
the truth

when i look in the mirror
i cannot tell
if i am pretty
or nothing at all
i cannot see
what others see
i do not know
what others know

the only thing i want
the only thing i need
is the truth

i want to know
am i

i need to know

Site where I found the image (with the link to the actual image embedded in it):

Saturday's Snapshot

Hello again! I'm sure most people know that it's much more difficult to start a new habit than it is to simply forget, so... My apologies for not posting this past week.  With all the hustle and bustle of school/work/play I've not had enough time/forgotten to post.  I hope you'll be forgiving as I try to get back into the habit of posting daily.  Now, this post will be posted under the false notion that it is still Saturday, because I am dying to reveal Saturday's theme, which is... (drum roll please) ...


That's right, starting now, on every Saturday, I will post a picture that I hope you all will enjoy.  Generally, the picture will be what inspired the writing to follow it, but for today, I already have what I want to post planned out, so I retrieved this picture from Google Images because it goes well with the poem and the feelings conveyed in the poem. 

16 February 2010


I wake, shaking, from my nightmare. I dare myself to believe it's not true.  I try to dial Eric's number but I have to wait until my hands are no longer fish out of water--clammy, slippery, flopping without control.  Finally, my fingers work and the number shines through the darkness.  Eric's roommate, Sam picks up.  "Eric," I say, and wait for Sam to crawl from his bed, mumbling as he goes into Eric's room to hand him the phone.  There's no movement on the other end of the line and after what feels like an eternity, Sam says, "Honest."  His voice resonates with all the pain of the world and I scream at him, begging him to stop my continuing nightmare.  "Honest, we've all been living in a nightmare," he responds.  "I can't bring Eric back.   I can't undo what he did.  I can, however, get you help.  You should come to my support group with me.  Staying in bed... It's not healthy."  "No," I respond, "I don't need a support group, I need Eric." I hang up and dry-swallow four ambiens--the only thing that will keep me out of this nightmare, even if only for a few hours. 


Now, in keeping with my promise that there will be a theme for each day of the week, it is time for the revealing of Monday's theme!

MUSICAL MONDAY! Each Monday, I will name the title and artist of a song, and give a specific lyric from that song has been particularly influential in my life.  I will try to keep the songs varied in genre so as not to become repetitive.

For today (of course by the time this has posted, "today" will no longer be Monday, but go with it) the song is Where'd You Go by Fort Minor.  If you haven't heard it, you need to!

14 February 2010

People are People (a response to Bruce Coville quotation)

      I hear Destiny's father yelling at her after the game.  "I see all these other girls--smart girls, pretty girls, athletic girls--and I think, wow.  Why is my daughter the stupid, ugly, lazy one?  What did I do to deserve such a horrible bitch of a daughter?"  My heart stops.  It's not like Destiny is any girl.  She is one of my all-time favorite people in the world.  She is ridiculously nice, and shockingly interesting.  She has a perspective of the world that no one else has; she once told me, "I cannot understand how people can treat others without respect.  Everyone--every single person--deserves respect until they do something that causes them to lose others' respect.  People are people.  How can a person think he or she is worth more than another?" I watch Destiny as her father continues to yell at her.  At one point, we look into each others' eyes, worry all over my face, a blank stare upon hers.  Slowly, unnoticeably, she shakes her head and mouths, "Don't worry."
     The next day, Destiny is not at school.  I ask Mrs. Brown where she is, but Mrs. Brown doesn't know.  None of the teachers have heard anything.  Days pass and still, no one hears anything of her.  A week later the principal calls us into the auditorium.  She stands behind a podium, looks out unto her students and shudders as she tells us, Destiny Johnson is dead. 
      Everything freezes.  The world stops spinning.  The principal never explicitly says how she dies.  But my heart knows....her father... Her own father killed her.  And my heart knows it's my fault.  Though I know her father is no longer yelling at her, the image of him and his words constantly replay through my mind.  And then the principal replays, "Destiny Johnson is dead."  My heart aches.
      That night, Destiny surrounds me in my dreams.  As I wake, I attempt to pull her back to life with me, but she remains caught in between reality and my dreams... She is a part of the old reality, but can never be a part of the new.  For the next few days, I stay awake only so I can fall back to sleep.  I live only so I can see Destiny while I dream.  Every morning when I wake, I pull at her, but she escapes my grasp... She leaves me alone every time, just like I left her alone.  "Don't worry." She told me.  And I believed her. 

      Time passes.  I spend a lot of time thinking and dreaming about Destiny.  One day, I go to the grocery story.  When I check out, a man with a clear mental disability bags my groceries.  I used to roll my eyes and wince as baggers with disabilities squished bread into bags already too full, as they put cans on top of eggs.  The man looks at me, with something almost like shame upon his face.  But now, I don't see something messing up my groceries.  I see a man doing what he can in a society that doesn't accept him.  I see a person, deserving of all the same things I deserve.  I smile at him kindly.  If he weren't bagging my groceries, I'd be doing it myself.  
      After dreaming of Destiny for months, her words have become tattooed on my heart, "People are people."
      And I believe her.

Daily Themes

One of the new things that I will be doing with my blog is having a daily theme corresponding to my writing.  For example, on every Tuesday, there will be a Thought to ponder; on every Friday, there will be a Fact to consider. 

Today, being Sunday, holds a Surprise for you... a QUOTATION! It is one of my all time favorites, and it is what inspired the poem that will follow it. 

“Nothing you love is lost. Not really. Things, people—they always go away, sooner or later. You can’t hold them, any more than you can hold moonlight. But if they’ve touched you, if they’re inside you, then they’re still yours. The only things you ever really have are the ones you hold inside your heart.”
        - Bruce Coville (Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher)

I'm Back!!!

Hello all!
   After 84 days of not posting, I have remembered my dear old blog.  With all the happenings of my life (school, etc) I seemingly forgot about it :-(.   Earlier this morning, I watched Julie and Julia and remembered my blog, and now I will be resuming my posts, yay!
    There will be a few changes/improvements, which I'm sure those who have been following will notice.  Keep checking back!