I lay in my bed, staring at the darkness with large, blank eyes. I want to sleep but I can't. I turn on the light and stare at my book. The words don't make sense; they all blend together and the letters don't look like English letters anymore. I want to read but I can't. I turn off the light and try to remember a day when I was happy. Immediately, I think of all those times with my friends, but I cant remember anything that doesn't make me want to scream. I want to be happy but I can't. I am suddenly confronted with an urge to cry... Crying always makes people feel better. But tears don't come. I continue to stare at the wall, completely numb. I want to feel, but I can't. My mind seems frozen. It's incapable of thoughts. I want to think but I can't.
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My First Award!
This award was given to me by both Beautiful Dreamer and Robyn. Thank you so much to both of you!
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I feel for you. I have been there many times, and all though you will have better times ahead, things can happen that change that in an instant! I find writing about my thoughts and emotions help a lot, and I guess that is the same with you. I wish you all the happiness life can bring, and hope that one day you can say "I am HAPPY!".
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome to follow my blog, which is kind of a journey for my own happiness.
All the best.
Beautiful Dreamer
http://beautifuldreamersdiary.blogspot.com/