My Place

A place for creativity.aaaaaaaaaaaaA place for self-expression.

A place for brutally honest writing.

25 October 2009

Untitled

I used to tell her about it. But now, everything stays inside. I
cannot risk it. I cannot go back to that place. Everything has to be a
secret, because, maybe, if I pretend for long enough and try hard
enough, it will all go away... Maybe, the darkness will seep out of me
and I'll be able to see light again. For now, I help her. I do
anything I can to convince her of lies that were once fed to me,
hoping that she believes me, so that she'll escape the pain of knowing
that there's a certain point you reach when you're beyond help, which
is where I am now. I read the things I tell her, the lies about
happiness I feed her and wonder, how, if my soul's as black as they
say, I am able to come up with words that carry so much hope, so many
things I don't believe.

2 comments:

  1. its so intense,i can almost feel everything..great work :))


    geet-unknowndestination@blogspot.com

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  2. loved this poem, I love poetry because its so open to interpretaion, so open to be made your own when your reading it. I felt a connection to this poem, because it reminds me of the relationship I have with my brother now. A couple years ago, I moved in with my dad and my brother after trying to make it on my own. He got me all into church, and for a while I was mister Christian. But over time I began to become disillusioned with all of it and stopped going to church or having anything to do with christendom. So now my brother basically treats me like a heathen whose wasting his life and who thinks too much. one part that really reinforced this connection was
    "lies that were once fed to me...so that she'll escape the pain of knowing"

    also the beggining was what hooked me

    "I used to tell her about it. But now, everything stays inside."

    I don't even know how to talk to my brother about this, because we are coming from two totally different paradigms, two worldviews, me an apostate, him a professing believer.

    anyway, i know this is a long comment and awfully self indulgent, but I like to leave comments that I would like to receive. Well thought out and describing how I, as a reader, connected with/or was impacted by the art. Thanks for sharing this..keep it up

    angstandagony.blogspot.com

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